Citizen Digital Foundation

A Parent’s Guide To Instagram – How To Help Your Child Set Boundaries

Read Part 1 of this blog – Instagram is more than a digital distraction. A parent’s guide to their child’s favourite app.

My parents always had the same look on their faces whenever they saw my phone in my hands. I could see the worry plastered on their faces – “I hope she’s not talking to any strangers”, “Is she watching something she’s not supposed to be?”, “What if she falls into a trap?”, “Staring at that screen is so bad for her eyes.”  

I’m sure this isn’t something that only my parents endlessly worried about. Being a digital native who’s had a social media account since the age of 15, I have constantly been at odds with my parents and often myself about my relationship with social media.   

I’ll say to myself that I’ll scroll through Instagram for just 5 minutes before I start studying and all of a sudden, it’s been 2 hours and I’m watching cats falling off of chairs over and over again. How do we recognise whether we have a healthy control over our social media usage? Here are a few signs that your child’s social media usage could be crossing over to addiction-  

  • They tend to constantly compare themselves to what they see online.  
  • They don’t mind replacing their daily real-life activities with more time on social media.  
  • They get restless, anxious or low without their gadgets. 

This addiction to Instagram is not necessarily because of one’s lack of willpower but primarily due to how Instagram and many other social media apps are designed. In their present-day avatars, there are sophisticated systems built-in to social media apps to keep us glued to them. Simply put, since our attention is the commodity used to make the platforms more attractive to advertisers, it profits them to keep us anxious, dissatisfied, angry and wanting. And they manage to do so by eliminating rational thinking, and appealing to the basest of human emotions and behaviour, making children and adolescents more vulnerable than adults. 

If you’re worried about the amount of time that your child spends on Instagram or don’t really understand it, here’s a few tips from a Gen Zer whose parents also tried to help her have a healthier relationship with social media.  

Taking the extra step to read up on what Instagram actually is and why it appeals to so many is a great place to start. To help you navigate this process of learning, here are a few good quality resources that we recommend using –   

The best way to understand what makes Instagram click so well with youngsters is to ask your children! Why do they like Instagram? What do they use Instagram for? Is there anything about Instagram that they don’t like? Does Instagram make them feel good about themselves? If yes, how so? If not, how so? Having a conversation about what they like and possibly don’t like about Instagram may be a great way to understand it as well as help your child set boundaries with social media.   

Additionally, here are some privacy settings on the app that can help ensure the safety of your child online–   

  • Tracking the time your child spends on Instagram.

  • Making the account private.

  • Muting, restricting, blocking certain accounts.

  • Setting boundaries on what your child can share online.
  • Monitoring the people they follow and who follow them. 

Instagram can only be used by children over the age of 13. But given recent revelations about the app, it is advised to introduce social media to a child only after they turn 15. And it is advisable that you co-view the content that your child sees on their Instagram if they’re new to it.  

A great way to help your child set boundaries with social media and how much time they spend on various gadgets is to make a joint resolution to set limits on how much time you spend on social media. This way you can keep each other accountable and increase the chances of successfully setting boundaries! Introducing constructive hobbies that the child finds equally as exciting or activities that the whole family can do together could be a good alternative to spending their free time on social media. Adolescents will find it easier to wean themselves off of something as engaging as social media when it is replaced with something equally exciting.  

It’s important to not give up on learning about social media when it always seems to be transforming and growing. Understanding social media could bridge a gap that you may feel with your child because the language they use or what they find funny or relevant are often influenced by what they see on social media – thereby understanding a huge part of their everyday lives.   

If you know a group of parents who are as concerned, but don’t know what exactly to do, reach out to us for an interactive session on critical digital media management for parents through our website. 

Meghna Nair

Meghna Nair is a freelance writer from Bangalore. With a degree in English Literature, Psychology, and Journalism, her areas of interest lie in art, conservation and sustainability.

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